Weird Knitting and Crochet Gift Ideas...creepy, naughty, or just wrong?

[by Venessa]

So you're running out of time to knit and crochet for holiday gifts, but you knew that right? Well, just in case you're looking for some unique ideas, I've found some for you. I'm not even sure how to file some of these, so I'll let you decide which one is the most...ahem...unique. 

Giddyup! Pony Hood by Naughty Needles

For the Brony who has everything, you could make this pattern with some rainbow colored yarn too. Just a suggestion. I'll just let you click over to see it if you're interested. $2.99 on Ravelry.

Knitted Naughty Parts

Yes, if you haven't noticed yet, Ravelry has a "mature content" section, which, upon reflection, is a kind of funny name. Especially when you see things like the Knitted Vulva. Bonus, the clitoris is knitted in glow in the dark yarn. Great idea for that leftover glow-in-the-dark yarn you have laying around.

Ugly Cozy

I didn't call it "ugly." It's named that. For a reason. Who wouldn't want to wake up and see this on her teapot? Sadly this item is sold out at Etsy, so you may have to improvise or have the designer (rosiecosie) make one for you.

A tea cozy, complete with cigarette. You will be guaranteed to be the only one giving this unique gift, I promise. Image rosiecosie

A tea cozy, complete with cigarette. You will be guaranteed to be the only one giving this unique gift, I promise. Image rosiecosie

Dissected Animals

Well, at least they don't smell like formaldehyde. Lots of options here too. Honestly, this woman is a real artist. Read about her at her etsy shop. She's making enough selling these to put herself through school. And you can get yours by Christmas too.

Honestly, this woman is a real artist. Read about her at her etsy shop. She's making enough selling these to put herself through school. And you can get yours by Christmas too.

Honestly, this woman is a real artist. Read about her at her etsy shop. She's making enough selling these to put herself through school. And you can get yours by Christmas too.

Scary Monsters

Maybe having your worst fears beautifully crafted into a cuddly crocheted gift could be a kind of therapy? Maybe not.

Facehugger looks like it could make a nice relaxing eye cover, or something like that.

Facehugger looks like it could make a nice relaxing eye cover, or something like that.

Knitted Wine Glass Holder

Okay, well this one could be really pretty useful, right? You know you want one. Here's the pattern on Ravelry so you can cast on, right now. It's a free download, pattern by Claudia Olson.

Image Claudia Olson

Image Claudia Olson

A Baby Doll

Dolls are classic Christmas gifts, right? But, dolls can be like clowns. They are supposed to delight and amuse, but sometimes, something... happens to the doll, and it's not quite so cute anymore. Just my opinion, of course. This pattern is 6.99 on Ravelry by cleoscrochetart, and if you make it, please send photos.

Pet Torture, um, I mean Costumes

I am tempted to dress my cat in the occasional Santa hat, so I won't throw stones. I cannot imagine these earwarmers staying in place very long. The site is in Japanese though, so you'll have to improvise your own pattern.

For the Knitter Who Has it All

The 2014 Men in Knitwear calendar club by Stitch Seekers, $15 on Ravelry. Sure, 2014 is over, but the patterns last forever. Mr. September is sporting some nice socks, huh? We could joke about whether or not he wears anything under his kilt, but... it doesn't look like he's wearing a kilt.

So what are you knitting next? If you go with any of these ideas, we want to know about it.